I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
