Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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