I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
