Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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