I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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