I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
