we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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