So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Alive.
So much puke
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
