You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize