but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
