i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
