Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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