So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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