Oh shit. There are penis maracas
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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