I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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