And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
