so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
