i can't believe i had my finger in that
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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