he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
