we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
