so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
