You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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