I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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