how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
