Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
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