I think I died a long time ago.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Never underestimate the power of titties
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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