You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
