okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
