We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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