I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He has the fingertips of a God
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