no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
