Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
