Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
