He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Is Oprah even human
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
