we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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