i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
