great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
