just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
