I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
