I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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