Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
