if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
pray to the hookup gods
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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