this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
we're so committed to being not committed
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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