we have officially lost it.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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