how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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