Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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