I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
It's never too late to be topless.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
