The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
