grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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