I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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