and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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