Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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