I like my sex mixed with concussions.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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