Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
