she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
