my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
