I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
