why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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