He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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