oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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