You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
