Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
