I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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