your thong is hanging out like whoa
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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