This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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